Extended Family Involvement

Photography www.Donatel.net

In these days of blended families, it's particularly essential to include the children. I did a wedding awhile back where we asked the four children – two from the groom and two from the bride - to take part in the Unity Candle ceremony. At the rehearsal Martin, 15 asked, "How many important parts do we have? " They want to know that mom and/or dad think enough of them to give them a part to play on this special day.

Whether we do the Unity Candle, the Rose Ceremony, Lei Ceremony or the Sand Ceremony, I always charge the children by asking them questions such as: "Do you promise to support this relationship with your love and understanding?". There is nothing for them to memorize, they just have to follow my lead and stand when I ask them to stand, and say "Yes" when I ask them a question. If they are lighting a candle, I will walk them through. If they are pouring sand, I will be there guiding them.

Another idea is to include mothers & fathers from both sides. You can gift them with a rose during the ceremony, have them light an individual tapir from the family Unity Candle or give them their own, personally chosen sand color to add to the family vase which is taken home as a memento of this beautiful ceremony.