How to Make Love Last & Keep The Music Playing

How do you keep the music playing is a beautiful song by the composer/lyricist team of Michel Legrand and Alan & Marilyn Bergman. It asks the questions we all have of our love relationship; with all that goes on in a shared life, how do we continue to stand in the light of love together? How do we keep it fresh? How do we not run out of things to say? How can we be the best of lovers? And how can we be the best of friends?

When we decide we have found that one "love of our life", we embark on the path of a life adventure together generally through commitment and marriage. We keep progressing through the attraction and lusting stage, explored each others personalities and idiosyncrasies through the courting phase, and we end up in a comfortable place ready to start a new life together.

Now, the fun begins! The wedding is all about the dress, right? This is the day we stand before our family and friends in all our finery (and they in theirs) and share with those important people in our lives the promises of love we have made to one another - the promises we intend to keep. They witness our commitment, they approve through their smiles and gifts. The party, the food, the dancing, the honeymoon and then we are alone, together.

In the privacy of our rented four walls, we get to "know" one another. There's no glossy lipstick and make-up in the morning, there’s no clean shaven face to kiss. Now, there is dirty laundry, dirty dishes, dirty floors, and dusty tables. But, before we run out the front door screaming that we have made a monumental mistake, let’s look at how to keep the keep the music playing.

We can keep the music playing by touching one another at a deeper level. That means listening with an open mind and heart to our beloved’s concerns, dreams and desires. We honor and respect one another. We do that by supporting our “other half”, telling them they are capable and competent. Letting them know in words and deeds that they have our admiration and approval and saying the words "I love you". This builds trust, this nurtures safety, and you stand together.

When we show one another that kind of acceptance and security in being vulnerable with each other the horizons open wide and let in happiness, contentment, creativity and abiding love. How can we go wrong when we have the unconditional safety net from the person we share our most intimate thoughts.

The song's last verse confirms our hopes;

    "If we can be the best of lovers
        Yet be the best of friends
    If we can try with every day to make it better as it goes
        With any luck then I suppose
    The music never ends."