Coming Together as One:
A Surprise Waiting in Every Relationship!

Relationships are full of wonderful surprises, like when you realize you have come together as one. That's the stuff that keeps us coming back for more. There is the sudden awareness that we both like liverwurst sandwiches at midnight, or that we both share a love of Dixieland music, or our favorite season is winter. Without the surprises, the "wow" and "ah ha" moments, being in and staying in a relationship might be more difficult than it already is. These seemingly small wonders give our life a nubby texture and without them the scene would be flat. But, when we are living our lives in full awareness, that is being wide awake and alert with ones partner, the real surprise miracle of love presents itself in a way no one has described to us before.

We're all living in the 21st century. We've read the books, we bought the tapes, we took the workshops and listened to the afternoon media therapist who told us, "The way to a healthy relationship is to encourage the other's independence, to honor the other’s individuality, and to respect the other’s space". This is good advice and works for many situations and circumstances. But if we wanted a totally separate life, a life of "space" and complete independence, we wouldn’t have bothered looking for a relationship and eventually marrying - we would have stayed single.

We come together in marriage to blend our lives, to meld our hearts, and to create our futures together. This is called interdependence. There is a place we can go where "no man (or woman) has gone before". (Or at least they haven't gone there in the same way as we have gone). There is a line that is crossed, a curtain that is opened, an exciting experience of caring, cherishing and loving to be experienced. When two people merge their separate selves in a much deeper and loving way, a third entity, a third person is created. Now not only is there a "you" and a "me", there is a collective Us. There is a spiritual Us. It's as though a third person has entered our life and our soul.

We now live in that place where those incredible couples who have lived happily together for 60 years say, "We don't know what made it work. We just loved each other through everything that happened". With the third person you have found your home in one another and you are safe. You have found your sanctuary. That is a happy and blessed union.